Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
