omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
