HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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