This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
