Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Randomize