U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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