We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I think your dad took our porno
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
