I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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