Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
