I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
