Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Randomize
