If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
