we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
