I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
