Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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