when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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