I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
