I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
My vagina is officially offended.
He? As in you personified your dick?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize