the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
