He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Randomize
