Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize