Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
