i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize