I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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