This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
