I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
