Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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