Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
