I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
