I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
