i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
YAS. BRING CRAB.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
