You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
