i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
