yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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