:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Randomize
