the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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