Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
