I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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