got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize