Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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