For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize