Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
