New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
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