Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
