just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
