About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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