I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
