New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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