id be glad to
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
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