clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I need to sanitize my soul.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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