Kiss
Puke
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
You need a sexual gate keeper
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize