Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
