I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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