it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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