Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
