Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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