i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
you win again, gameday.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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