that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I believe in your delicious
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
