Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
