I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
