My sheets look like a crime scene.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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