Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
