never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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