Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Randomize
