i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
