I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
