I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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