i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
