Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize