Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Randomize
