she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
