Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
