All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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