Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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